Comments Posted By John McCrarey
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Kev, I really appreciate the time and thought you put into this comment. And for what it is worth, I am finally ready to accept the realities you have articulated repeatedly. I have had mixed feelings for a while now–was I willing to let go of the life I have in pursuit of the love I’ve dreamed of? More and more, the answer has been not really. The shallow end of the pool is well-suited for an old fucker like me. I just don’t have the inclination to put forth the effort to build a meaningful relationship, assuming I ever found a worthy woman. Maybe it’s cowardice or a self-preservation instinct, but I am also unwilling to put my emotional well-being at risk by trusting my heart to another. I’ve had a lifetime of heartbreaks, and now that I am well into the end years, I just don’t have the time to recover from another fuck-up. I am just too damn tired to swim in the deep water.
And you know what? It feels wonderful to finally let go of the fantasy and embrace the reality that is my life. It may not be what I dreamed of, but damn, when I step back and look at what I do have, I can’t help but conclude that I am one lucky bastard. And it is going to get better now that I’ve embraced the common sense logic as expressed in your comment. The women folk think I’m a player anyway; it’s high time I get into the game and just have fun. Honestly, I’ve been fooling myself into believing I’m something that I’m not. No more pretending!
I’m an old man surrounded by hot young women who are happy to satisfy my needs. That’s all I truly want, even if I have to pay for it. There is freedom in letting go of the dream and embracing reality. Let it ring!
» Posted By John McCrarey On 18/March/2023 @ 7:46 am
Thanks, Brian. Yeah, I think I finally get it. Time to let go of the “love” fantasy once and for all.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 18/March/2023 @ 7:12 am
Yes, it was one of those weird things–great together but unable to make a couple connection. That’s more my fault than hers, naturally. In retrospect, perhaps that was a blessing. Given my history, I’d probably have fucked things up and lost the friend of a lifetime.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 17/March/2023 @ 6:43 am
Josj, you might be right. There is certainly a weird emotional dynamic with Filipinas. They are also notorious for that jealousy gene that seems universal.
Yes, the honest and simple pay-as-you-go method is one option. A guy told me once that he doesn’t pay for sex; he pays for the girl to leave in the morning. It’s strange, though, because I don’t enjoy straight-up transactional relations. Yeah, I know to a certain extent, they all are, but I like a gal who can pretend it’s not all about the money.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 17/March/2023 @ 6:52 am
QP, yep, more and more, I’m accepting that this is what the endgame is going to be for me. It ain’t what I dreamed of, but it ain’t bad either.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 16/March/2023 @ 9:48 am
Thanks, Terry. That thought has occurred to me as well. I could wake up dead tomorrow, so I need to make the best of today.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 16/March/2023 @ 5:17 am
Well, I’m talking about the pathological variety. Jee Yeun was insanely jealous, and I never gave her any cause (never cheated, never even looked). Once she got into my computer and found photos from my tourist trips to the Philippines (this was before we met) and she hated all Filipinas after that. I stuck around despite the insanity, which I guess is a good indication of how much I truly loved her. I never want to experience that “relation shit” again.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 15/March/2023 @ 5:40 pm
Yeah, you’re right; I hadn’t thought of the Navy connection. Well, what do you expect from a bunch of drunk Hashers?
» Posted By John McCrarey On 15/March/2023 @ 6:37 am
Kev, As I was reminded Monday morning, taking pictures while marking a trail is a pain in the ass–see the shot, stop, put the bottle of powder on the ground, remove phone from pocket, open the camera app, take the shot, then reverse those steps and move on. How about this instead? As I walk next week’s trail, I’ll focus on taking pics of as many of the path markings as possible so you can get a feel for the process.
Regarding the You Can Call Me Martha name, I was indeed thinking of Martha Stewart when I offered it up. The name just came to me as a funny play on Stuart’s real name, and I may well have just been misremembering the “Just call me Martha” phrase. Again, I was just goofing, so was surprised that the majority of the Hash circle liked it best. The other name voted on was a play on Stuart’s being an Air Force vet–Top Cunt. I actually liked that one too, but of course, I felt obligated to vote for my suggestion.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 15/March/2023 @ 5:25 am
Thanks for your thoughts, Brian. I get what you are saying, but the different gals that I see are, for the most part, bargirls/lady drink companions–I see them in the bar but don’t bring them home. Nerissa was a potential exception, as I was very interested in getting to know her through traditional dating activities and excursions like the one we shared in Bataan recently.
I last saw her at the bar on Friday night, and everything was good–lots of laughs and fun. On Sunday, I was blocked, so something triggered her, and I’m guessing she saw me with Mary. But Nerissa and I hadn’t taken the next step to dating, and we certainly weren’t in a relationship, so it’s not like I was cheating on her or anything. It’s telling that she didn’t even bother to confront me or express disappointment prior to blocking me. Anyway, I intend to go to CC tonight and find out what happened.
More and more, I’m reaching the conclusion that I don’t want or need a relationship. Too much drama, and maybe I’m just not willing to give up my current lifestyle. Mary is nice and fun to be with, but damn, that age gap is just too much for me. I’m hoping we can find a niche that allows us to share some time together and help each other out without doing the boyfriend/girlfriend thing.
One day at a time, I suppose.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 14/March/2023 @ 10:20 am
Kev, “laying the powder” is the term we use for marking the Hash with a white flour-like substance. We carry the powder in re-purposed milk jugs and periodically pour it on the ground for Hashers to follow along on the trail.
I’d never noticed the ingredients of the sisig before, it is not a dish I enjoy eating, but the girls love it.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 14/March/2023 @ 6:56 am
QP, that’s the preferred outcome for sure.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 14/March/2023 @ 3:13 pm
This comes across as quite judgmental, and God knows you don’t need random strangers meddling in your personal business.
Alice, I freely choose to post my life on the internet. Feedback from my readers is something I actually appreciate, and I gain insights and wisdom from their comments. So, please know I don’t take offense, and I thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts.
Mary’s attractiveness to me is her intelligence. We met through Facebook when she sent me an unsolicited friend request. I don’t normally accept this kind of request unless we have some mutual friends or other connections. For some reason, though, I engaged in a Messenger chat with her and was very impressed with her command of written English and that her conversation was on a much deeper and more meaningful level than almost any of the Filipinas I’ve chatted with previously. When I saw her picture, though, like you, I thought she looked way too young. Thanks why I asked her to send some evidence that she really was a legal adult. Most of the women I meet here are employed in bars, so I know they have been vetted and are over eighteen years of age. I just wanted to reassure you that I have no interest whatsoever in underage girls.
So, I agreed to meet Mary in person for a meal at one of my favorite restaurants. We enjoyed the food and had a pleasant conversation. Physically, she’s a little heavier than I like but the more we talked, the more I saw her inner beauty. Even so, I wasn’t comfortable with the age gap–Mary is the youngest woman I’ve dated here. But she kept messaging me with sweet talk, and so I finally agreed to let her join me at home for dinner. She wound up spending the night. She’s a nice girl, and I enjoy her company–that’s the attraction.
I find some of the other young women I’ve met, like Virgina, to be more physically attractive but not nearly as interesting as Mary. Even so, I’m not going to be rushing into a relationship with anyone just yet. The age gap thing is worrisome. Still, as a young mother and student, perhaps I can find ways to make Mary’s life a little easier or at least less stressful financially. I respect the fact that she has never asked me for money, although I have offered to help her out with some school expenses.
I try to live one day at a time, so I’ll just have to wait and see what happens next. Thanks again for your comment, and I hope now you have a better understanding of my perspective.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 14/March/2023 @ 2:56 pm
QP, I have no reason to doubt her age and the birth certificate photo confirms what she told me. I know she looks younger in her photos, but she is of legal age. She seems like a nice person, and I hope we can build a mutually beneficial arrangement.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 14/March/2023 @ 12:19 pm
Kev, it depends on how you define “sponsor”. Is the Sugar Daddy concept a form of sponsorship?
It was interesting reading the link on samsaric. I’ve got to admit this description seemed awfully familiar: “aimless and directionless wandering”.
I admit I have no idea what I want, what I’m doing, or where this is going. I’m in full “taking it one day at a time” mode. I very well may determine that this isn’t going to work on any level, but it is also possible we will find a niche that satisfies both of our needs.
Here’s hoping for a soft landing!
» Posted By John McCrarey On 13/March/2023 @ 8:19 am
I’m not sure what cycle you are referring to. It was only a date. I’m more likely to be her sponsor than her boyfriend.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 13/March/2023 @ 4:23 am
Alice, the woman you are calling “literally a child” is turning nineteen this year and is the mother of a two-year-old son. For what it is worth, I did get a copy of her birth certificate prior to our first meeting that confirmed her adulthood.
I’m no expert on Filipino high schools, but I know of students still attending at twenty years of age. The scamdemic took its toll here too, and some of the students had time away from school to find work. Sadly, some miss schooltime when they give birth.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 13/March/2023 @ 4:18 am
Kev, there you go! If they taught us those terms in creative writing class, I’d totally have forgotten. Hell, I was lucky to get the rhyme right, I don’t think I ever considered the rhythm.
Thanks for your high tolerance level! I might do a short story next.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 12/March/2023 @ 8:11 am
Terry, Yeah, my older brother joined after high school but was deployed to Japan rather than Vietnam. I never blamed the troops who were there, I blamed the politicians who sent them.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 12/March/2023 @ 8:06 am
HaHa! Not only can’t I speak the Korean language, I can’t even pronounce its name! I effed up the phonetic spelling, I was trying to say I pronounce it Han-gool. Which I know now is still wrong. Thanks for the lesson!
» Posted By John McCrarey On 13/March/2023 @ 4:27 am
Kevin, What would a post of mine be without a misspelled word or two? Better, you say? Okay, I’ll try. Maybe I’m pronouncing “Hangeul” wrong–I say han-goo-el, which might explain the spelling error.
In Che’s case, I don’t know her well enough to confirm she’s a trashy girl, although being a go-go dancer in a girly bar might lead one to that conclusion. I was actually referring to her body type–I like the skinny ones best–big boobs and fat asses don’t do it for me.
As to the neocon thing, I tend to agree with most of what you wrote. Back in 2009, I might have adopted that label to differentiate myself from the Obama-loving crowd. That’s the problem with labels, they don’t age well or change with the times. I’m not a fan of interventions to “spread democracy” but when an evil power invades a country to enslave (i.e. Iraq/Kuwait), I support us in helping to defend our allies. But yeah, the world is changing and we should not go where we aren’t wanted or invited. I’m encouraged to see the internal revolts taking form in Iran, but disgusted by what we did in Afghanistan. These days, as recent events have shown, our freedom at home is in peril and I agree we need to focus on getting rid of the deep-state scoundrels.
I’m totally on board with your views on China. I don’t know if WWIII can be avoided, but we sure as hell need to be prepared for that event. A good first step as you say is a realignment with India, the sooner the better.
So, to answer your question: based on the definition of neocon you provide, I am not in that camp. I lean more libertarian I think. The left in this country has gone stark raving mad, so the sane folks need to start fighting back more effectively. I’m more and more of a fan of DeSantis and would prefer him over Trump. But just as I chose Trump over Hillary, I’d take Trump over whomever the Dems try to foist on us.
Thanks again for your thought-provoking comment!
» Posted By John McCrarey On 12/March/2023 @ 8:40 am
Brian, yes, that is my intent. Hopefully, my lungs can take it.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 11/March/2023 @ 4:08 pm
Kev, geez, I did it again. Oh well, at least I didn’t call it Shit-n-Bull.
Yeah, I just hope she is there on Monday to grant access.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 10/March/2023 @ 6:42 am
Brain, Yeah, pancit and its cousins are ubiquitous throughout Asia I’m sure.
I don’t know about the access laws or if they even have them. The resorts usually want to charge you to just pass through, but if you look (and walk) hard enough, there are places that provide open access to the water. The place I was talking about was on the riverside. The only way back to the road was through someone’s private property, so I was glad when they gave permission. And yeah, as a foreigner I’d lose any fight before I started.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 10/March/2023 @ 6:39 am
Yes, that’s the picture that is on her Facebook page. At least she was upfront about what she wanted to do.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 09/March/2023 @ 3:44 pm
Well, hopefully, it doesn’t happen. I’m not sure what the ramifications of losing the big toe might be. I’m guessing it might impact stability and balance when walking. Have you researched that? Of course, best to keep your focus on keeping the ten you have healthy.
Hey, I was proud of myself for remembering the name of the town. I couldn’t be bothered actually looking up the correct spelling!
Nerissa said she got the envelope. It was only ten bucks, so maybe she thinks I’m a cheap Charlie. She shouldn’t be surprised, that’s where we met after all.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 09/March/2023 @ 7:39 am
Kev, re: segway–It didn’t look right when I wrote it, but then spellcheck didn’t object, so lazy me let it be. I scootered that up for sure!
Scott did fine, a little slower than usual, perhaps. He said the only time he felt pain was coming down the steps near the end of our hike. Glad to have him back on trail!
Hmm, alcohol and warm lips…I’ll take some of that!
» Posted By John McCrarey On 08/March/2023 @ 6:51 am
Well, the tuna wasn’t really a side; it had equity with the nachos. I often eat tuna on a tortilla chip, and Mary was spooning some tuna onto her nacho chip. Turned out to be okay.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 07/March/2023 @ 6:03 am
Thanks, Kevin. Everything you said made perfect sense, and I should have been more discreet. I’ve edited the post and, for obvious reasons, had to edit your comment as well. “Mary” isn’t her real name, but in this small town, someone may not be as anonymous as you think.
Appreciate you keeping me straight.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 06/March/2023 @ 3:01 pm
«« Back To Stats PageThanks for the review link; I know I’d read it before, but enough time has passed that it felt like the first time again.
John’s wings used to be a weekly ritual for me before he moved to the far side of town. I didn’t get a taste of this batch, but the girls were crazy about them.
Lunch went well, thanks! We might be moving into one of those mutually beneficial relationships you talk about in the movie review.
» Posted By John McCrarey On 06/March/2023 @ 6:17 am