The outlook was looking bleak that night as 501 did play
His opponent sat on a double 16–an out he could hit any day
While the Walrus was faced with a hefty sixty and a ton
A possible out for sure–but one he’d never done

It would have been much closer but he was throwing like a dope
So there didn’t seem to be much cause for having any hope
A victory seemed unlikely, but then you never know
And win or lose you still got to make the throw

The Walrus swigged his beer then stepped up to the line
It could have been that he was drunk or just really feeling fine
When Jee Yeun shouted “fighting baby” he let go with a small fart
There wasn’t any question it was The Walrus with the dart

There was ease in his manner as The Walrus took his stance
He took a breath, shook his head, and wiped his hands upon his pants
He gazed upon his target and then let his Widow fly
When the chalker called out “triple” The Walrus heaved a sigh

“He always was a lucky fuck” someone muttered in the crowd
“Come on! let’s see another one!” shouted others right out loud
It hadn’t seemed that hot before but The Walrus did perspire
And then he threw another dart–a triple, just inside the wire

And now what seemed impossible was just a 40 out
The Walrus was feeling confident, there wasn’t any doubt
He owned the double 20, or so he liked to think
He’d throw this dart, win the match, and buy the house a drink

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright
The band is playing somewhere and somewhere hearts are light
And somewhere men are laughing and somewhere children shout
But there is no joy in Itaewon–The Walrus has bounced out.

(with apologies to Ernest Lawrence Thayer)