So, the LA Times takes some unfair shots at MSNBC icon Keith Olbermann.  And yeah, his ratings have been in a bit of a slump maybe, but why kick a guy when he is down?  I am not going to stand by and let this unwarranted attack go unanswered.  Don’t worry Keith, I’ve got your back!  To the article then:

Remember Keith Olbermann?

He was the one-time must-see anti-Bush ranter who helped rescue MSNBC (yes, it’s still on at night) from even worse oblivion years ago.

Yeah, we remember him Mr. Smarty Pants Times reporter.  And if you had even half a clue you’d know that he is in fact still ranting against Bush, notwithstanding the fact that Bush is long gone.  You’ve got to marvel at (and admire) that kind of consistency!

Well, quietly last month while no one was looking, hardly anyone was watching Keith Olbermann anymore.

The guy, who’s even apparently tried to get some Sarah Palin-like eyeglasses, is now forced to leap over-the-top on ex-state senators like Scott Brown and Tuesday’s worst person, Fox News’ Glenn Beck. Beck is the successful talker with the perfect haircut for radio. Like most Americans, he wasn’t watching Keith.

Well, I’m not watching Olbermann either and neither is anyone I know.  But you just don’t get it.  Olbermann is a presence for crissakes, you don’t have to actually watch his show to get his vibe.  Besides, if you have seen one show you have seen them all.  And when did actually watching someone become the end-all be-all anyway?  Of course, Palin does look hot in those glasses, but she copied KO’s style, not the other way around.  Keith sets the trend, us lesser beings follow.  Gladly.

There are a couple of reasons for KO’s frustration and anger and volume and core meltdown over the Massachusetts election outcome, among other issues of galactic import. For one, lots more ranters around nowadays on all sides, including that colleague of Keith’s with the hugest head in TV. Please, no 3-D for him!

Also, Olbermann’s showboat is sinking. Listing in you-know-which direction.

It’s as if he thinks talking LOUDER will keep his low cell battery from dying.

Now that is a low blow.  Get your facts straight at least.  NO ONE on television has a head bigger than Keith Olbermann.  No one!  And you can use that cutesy “showboat sinking” metaphor to insinuate that KO lists to the left.  Ha! Ha!  As I am sure Keith would be the first to say, he does not list, lean, or otherwise slant to the left.  He is f’n off the charts.  As many have said countless times, Keith Olbermann may be many things, but he is never right.  And talking louder is a proven method of making your point when the facts are stacked against you.  Don’t compare his show to a cell phone with a dead battery just because he tends to rant angrily.  As the poet Dylan Thomas said “rage, rage against the dying of the light!”  You go Keith!

Worst, Olbermann’s network president, Phil Griffin, is publicly praising him, always an ominous sign in television. While referring to his host almost in the past tense. “Keith has been our tentpole,” Griffin says, adding later, “I’m pleased with where we are.”

See, now this Times guy is just playing with words to make things sound worse than they are.  Phil Griffin never said anything about past tense, he clearly referred to KO as a “has been”.  And that “tentpole” thing–so what?  Chris Matthews has had a tentpole in his pants for Obama since before the election (or was that a thrill running down his leg?  ah well, same same).  And anyway, Griffin gave much more than a mere vote of confidence when he said “I’m pleased with where we are”.  Where they are is last place.  And every baseball fan (including KO) knows the Leo Durocher maxim that “nice guys finish last”.  So, what we have is KO’s boss saying he is a nice guy.  You can take that and three bucks down to your local Starbucks and get a hot java.  Trust me on that.

In the most desirable TV demographic of 25-54, which Keith will soon outgrow himself, “Countdown” lost 44% of its audience from the beginning of President Obama‘s term until this year. It could have been worse — say, 45%.

Oh ok, here we go.  You know the gloves are comin’ off when the critic starts throwin’ around numbers.  Let’s see, you got your lies, your damn lies, and your statistics.  So yeah, Keith is getting long in the tooth (aren’t we all?), but what are you gonna do lock him up with those “retards” Rahm was complaining about?  Wake up and smell the roses pal, this is America and that ain’t on the agenda.  So, yeah he lost 44% of his audience.  And yeah, it could have been worse.  But think about this–if it does get worse, that 44% ain’t gonna seem so bad after all, will it?  You want to play the numbers game with me?  Bring it on!

Olbermann averaged 268,000 viewers last month in that sector. That’s just several thousand sets of those eyes more than Campbell Brown over on CNN. According to one count, Keith even finished in that time slot behind Nancy Grace. Nancy Grace!

Hey, there is absolutely nothing wrong with finishing behind Nancy Grace.  That would be my preference.  Have you seen her face?  Oh. We’re talking about ratings?  Er, well. Never mind then.

On the bright side, which everyone knows KO is fond of spotting, his MSNBC audience was only 696,000 viewers 24-54 behind O’Reilly, whose audience has grown 55%, according to Bercovici. Of course, it might be worse this month.

Oh so it is back to the numbers again huh?  Can’t even come up with something new and original?  Well Mr. Know-it-all critic let me ask you this: what precisely is the significance of O’Reilly’s audience growing by 55% and KO’s shrinking by 44%?  I mean seriously dude, what is your point?  And then you smugly say “it could be worse this month”.  Well guess what genius, it could also be a helluva lot worse this month.  I guess we will just have to wait and see, won’t we?

In the immortal words of Edward J. Smith, captain of the Titanic, “What iceberg?”

You just couldn’t resist getting one final cheap shot in before concluding your worthless article, could you?.  Well my friend, the joke is on you because if you had even half a brain you would know two things–one it was the CIA who sank the Titanic not an iceberg (I’m pretty sure EuroYank has a post on this somewhere) and two, if it was an iceberg, the famous words of Captain Smith were “damn the icebergs, full speed ahead”.  You can look it up in any history book dimwit.

Keith Olbermann, don’t let the haters get you down.  You just keep on doing what you’re doing.  The results speak for themselves.

UPDATE:  Wow, an Instalanche to my humble little blog.  Thanks, Glenn.  And welcome y’all.  Come on in, take your shoes off (this is Korea after all), sit a spell and have a look around (it’s the internet!). Glad you are here!

UPDATE 2:  Damn, I just realized that in the email I sent the Instapundit kinda sorta whoring for a link, I spelled Glenn’s name wrong.  And he still linked me.  What a guy!
Hat Tip: Instapundit