So, a friend of mine at the Department of Defense shared an excerpt from Congressional testimony regarding pending cuts to the Defense budget and it’s impact on the civilian workforce.  Clearly, the country’s in the best of hands…

FORBES: (Congressman)
Can you tell me any proposal that you’ve seen floating right now that would
suggest that it’s going to be addressed?
VOLLRATH: (DoD Deputy Assistant Secretary)
Personally, I have not.
FORBES:
Who would make the decision within your department to start this analysis?
VOLLRATH:
That — that would have to start with the secretary of defense.
FORBES:
And the secretary of defense has given you no instruction at all to begin that
analysis to date?
VOLLRATH:
I personally do not have that kind of instruction.
FORBES:
But you would know — you would know if that was going to take place based on
your position, would you not?
VOLLRATH:
Not necessarily, because this is a large strategic movement.
FORBES:
So then as the principal deputy assistant secretary of defense for readiness and
force management at the Department of Defense, if you wouldn’t know, who would
know above you?
VOLLRATH:
At — at this stage, I would defer to the secretary of defense and to the
president and where they intend to…
(CROSSTALK)
FORBES:
Well, the president and the secretary of defense aren’t going to do the actual
planning. They would have to give that instruction. But who would know in the
department if such instructions have been given to begin the planning, if you
wouldn’t know? Could this planning take place if you didn’t know it?
VOLLRATH:
Probably not.
FORBES:
So then you would know it if — if the planning was going to take place?
VOLLRATH:
I am not aware of any planning, but that does not mean that there is no
planning.
FORBES:
Well, help me with this. It’s your testimony that if the planning were taking
place, you would know it. Then you said you don’t know it. But then you said the
planning could still be taking place.
VOLLRATH:
If there were any planning taking place that had any specificity to it, I would
anticipate that I would be aware of that.
FORBES:
And today in your testimony, you are not aware of that. Is that your testimony?
VOLLRATH:
That is correct.
FORBES:
Are you aware that anyone has told you not to do the planning?
VOLLRATH:
No one has told me not to do planning.

That’s comedy gold I tell you.  Better than any skit I’ve seen on Saturday Night Live lately…