Alright, I’m finally clearing up my backlog of email. Sorry everyone, I have been “busy” at engaging in avoidance these past few days. My way of getting through the holidays alone was to just pretend it wasn’t happening. That and LOTS of time in bars. I guess you could say I traded holiday spirit for holiday spirits as it were.

Speaking of drinking, here’s a story from Texas. It was on the Internet, so it must be true!

Only a Texan could think of this …. from the county where drunk
driving is considered a sport, comes this true story.

Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Bandera, Texas.
After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated
that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a
few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an
eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed
to find his car which he fell into. He sat there for a few minutes as a
number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.

Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a
fine, dry summer night) — flicked the blinkers on, then off a couple of
times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the
vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still
for a few more minutes as some more of the other patron vehicles left.

At last, the parking lot empty, he pulled out of the parking lot and
started to drive slowly down the road. The police officer, having
patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on
the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over and carried out a
breathalyzer test. To his amazement the breathalyzer indicated no
evidence of the man having consumed any alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, “I’ll have to ask you to accompany me to
the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken.”

“I doubt it,” said the truly proud Texan. “Tonight I’m the designated
decoy.”

Just so you know, I never drink and drive here. A) I don’t have too, there are 73 bars within 6 blocks of my apartment (and no, I have not seen them all, maybe 20 or so) and B) Drunk driving is severely punished here. Which is a good thing, because the way these people drive when the are sober is scary enough!