Every Korean apartment I’ve lived in has this “squawk box” type thing on the wall where messages are periodically conveyed from the building management.  I’ve always found it pretty annoying, especially since I can never understand what they are saying.

So this morning I’m sitting at the kitchen table and the box emits a series of several loud beeps.  Simultaneously, my phone chimes that I’ve received a message.  That message is captioned “Emergency Alert” and is followed by three bullet points in Korean (which I also can’t read).  Of course, the first thought that comes to my mind is that the NORKs are invading.  But no, it turns out that the message says: 1. Wash your hands. 2. Cover your mouth when you cough. 3. If someone has a fever, don’t touch them.

And in the few minutes I’ve been writing this post the squawk box/phone message has been repeated twice more.  So I guess they really, really, really mean it.

I probably could stand to wash my hands more often, but doing so is situational for me.  If I’m in a public lavatory and they have a bar of soap on a stick, I’m like “no thanks, I’ll take my chances”.  After all, all I’ve really touched is my own junk and I don’t even want to think about where those hands that touch the nasty soap bar have been.  I do cover up when I cough, but use my arm, not my hand, to cover my mouth.  I don’t want my unwashed hand anywhere near my mouth, right?  The last point about not touching anyone with a fever is a bit disconcerting.  I mean, what’s the first thing you do when someone says they are not feeling well–you touch them to see if they are hot.  Apparently, if they do have a fever you are both screwed.

My first instinct that war had broken out has proven correct, Korean government officials have declared war on the Middle East Respiratory Syndrome (MERS).  I guess there is a fair amount of panic taking place among the populace.  Schools are closing, rumors are running rampant, and oh yeah, people are dying.  Four as of this morning.

I noticed on the subway yesterday that nearly half of the riders were wearing masks as opposed to the normal handful.  I came up with the bright idea for insuring I’ll always have a seat on the train.  I’ll just stand in front of the seat I want and start coughing uncontrollably.  I reckon that might score me the whole row!

Anyway, I don’t mean to make light of this potentially catastrophic health emergency.  But other than taking normal precautions like practicing good hygiene there’s nothing to be done but live your life and hope for the best.  At least that’s what I plan to do.

What, me worry?

More famous last words?

UPDATE: Here’s what all the cool kids riding the subway wear.