My new driving accessory arrived in today’s mail.

My own personal breathalyzer…

When I opened the back to insert the batteries I got a little surprise that made me laugh out loud (hey, I’m easily entertained):

Who’d a thunk it? Ah well, it goes nicely with my Samsung TV and LG appliances. Guess next thing on my shopping list will be a Kia…

Anyway, I took it for a *ahem* test drive tonight.  Before leaving the house I gave it a blow and registered 0.00 blood alcohol content (BAC).  Since I hadn’t had anything to drink it seemed to be working to perfection.  First stop was a new bar for me called Over the Rails.  It sits right next to the CSX railroad line, hence the name.  The owner wants to install a couple of dart boards so me and a pal dropped in to reconnoiter the joint.  It’s a bit of a dive, but the staff and patrons were friendly enough.  Had two icy cold Mich Ultras and headed to the car to see precisely how drunk I wasn’t.

In accordance with the instructions, I fired up the BACtrack and let it do its 12 second warmup.  At the appointed time I took a deep breath and gave it a hardy 5 second blow.  And it registered a BAC reading of 0.67, perilously close to the legal limit of 0.8.  I was a bit dismayed until I remembered the instructions emphatically stated that you must wait 20 minutes after your last alcoholic beverage to ensure an accurate reading.  I had waited maybe 2 minutes at most.

Seeing as how I was still technically on the legal side of the limit I felt confident enough to drive the two miles to my regular pub, Kwagga.  Played some darts and enjoyed two more beers.  Then I had a diet Coke and waited the specified 20 minutes before passing wind into my breathalyzer.  This time I got a much more satisfactory reading of 0.36.  So, four beers in two and a half hours and I was less than half-drunk.  Which tells me my self-imposed limit of five beers in three hours was pretty much on target (a bucket of five bottles of beer sells for a discounted rate of ten bucks which is why I go that route).  But there’s nothing like the peace of mind and confidence you gain when you don’t have to fear being arrested.

A commenter on my previous post about the BACtrack asked if the product came with a guarantee.  After reading the instruction booklet I can state with certainty that it does not.  In words that only a lawyer could write it made clear (repeatedly) that it is never safe to operate a motor vehicle after consuming any amount of alcohol.  Furthermore, the results of the BACtrack are not admissible in a court of law.  And just in case you missed it, the last page of the booklet contains one line of words in capital letters: DO NOT DRINK AND DRIVE.  So I won’t. Much. And certainly not while driving.

In other news, my buddy Duke up in Northern Virginia left a comment on the post where I mentioned I had applied for a job at Yongsan Garrison in Seoul.  Turns out that vacancy is with the company he works for.  The hiring decisions are made a couple of pay grades below him, but he did forward my resume with a recommendation from him to the folks who will make the selection.  I figure that may boost my prospects, although Duke did note that they give first preference to military veterans.  I had no idea at the time I applied that I actually had an inside connection.  And if Duke hadn’t read my blog he wouldn’t have known I was looking for work there.  IF (and that’s a BIG if in bold face letters) I have the good fortune of being selected I would love the fact that after nearly ten years of blogging this damn hobby of mine actually paid off in a tangible way.  We’ll see.

Finally, for those readers who care about my darting “career”, I’m happy to report that I’m off to a hot start back here in America.   In the Tuesday pub league, I won 6 legs (our team totaled 8).  In last night’s Pointless Dart League tournament me and my partner earned a first place finish.  More darts on tap tomorrow in Columbia at the Publick House tourney and then I’ll drive up to Charlotte on Saturday morning to participate in a “fun shoot” at Steamer’s Pub.  Since I haven’t played there before I have to get “rated” prior to the the tourney.  Not sure what that entails but it should be interesting.

So there you have it.  Other than my continued sleep deprivation things are going about as well as might be expected.  We’ll see what tomorrow brings.