Captured by aliens…

…and subjected to all sorts of bizarre tests and invasions of various bodily orifices while they carried on in a native tongue I could only pretend to understand. At least that is how it felt.

Yes, today was the day that Jee Yeun and I did our bi-annual comprehensive physical examinations. Eyes, ears, blood, EKG, BMI, bone density, chest x-ray, sonogram, prostrate probe, MRI of the vital organs, endoscopy and colonoscopy. Fortunately, I slept through the last two. The prostrate check was done with a device that looked like a giant dildo and it felt bigger than it appeared. Ah well, she didn’t even give me flowers afterwards.

I’ll get the results directly from my hilarious Korean doctor on April 24. Apparently they took something from my stomach to biopsy. And I’m hoping to learn if this almost constant chest pain is something to be concerned about. It’s not heart pain, it’s just a generalized soreness. I can feel it when I take a deep breath, roll over in bed, and sneezing is excruciating. I’m assuming it just goes with being old (because my whole body seems to ache most of the time). We’ll see.

They gave me this really cool bracelet as a parting gift! And that’s not all!

Anyway, I’m a pretty big fan the Korean health care system, unlike some folks I know. Especially their preventative programs like this one. We got a “his and her” discount, so both of our physicals wound up costing a total or just over W2,000,000 ($2000.00). My brother who worked in the industry stateside says most of those tests would cost more individually than my entire total back home. I expect Blue Cross will reimburse about 75% of that which is *ahem* pretty healthy.

In another nice touch Soonchunhwang Hospital gives you coupons for a free lunchee at the nearby porridge house! This was especially welcome for me as I was approaching 24 hours on my mandated fast.