Well, I didn’t get lucky today, but that’s not bad luck. In fact, it’s probably a blessing.
Only four hikers were brave enough to take to the streets and hills on this cursed day. The worst that happened to us was getting our feet wet, so nothing to complain about there. I’ve got some photos to share from our adventure in just a bit.
I had lunch with Jessel today. In fact, I just got back home from Mango’s where we enjoyed a roast chicken and gravy, with rice and coleslaw. I’m going to need a bit more time to process that event, but first impressions tell me I won’t be making any significant changes to my lifestyle anytime soon. I could say it was more than a little disappointing, but that’s probably not fair. To begin, I went in with a good deal of ambivalence as to whether I even wanted to try the “love” thing again. Jessel did nothing to sway my thinking in favor of a relationship. Not blaming her, finding fault, or casting aspersions. She is who she is and the sad fact may well be that that isn’t enough for me. More on this topic soon. I want to think about what happened, and didn’t happen, and what that all means before I decide what happens next.
To the hike then:
I’m going to continue pushing my luck by participating in tonight’s dart tourney at Alley Cats. If I lose, I’ll blame it on the unlucky 13th. Although I guess everyone will be playing under the same handicap.
And just so you know, I am not at all superstitious. In fact, I posted exactly 13 photos here as my way of saying “Fuck You, Friday!” Or as I learned to say in Tagalog, “putang ina mo”.
Being The One is like being in love. No one needs to tell you you are in love; you just know it—through and through. Balls to bones.
—The Oracle, The Matrix (1999)
I’m going to need a bit more time to process that event, but first impressions tell me I won’t be making any significant changes to my lifestyle anytime soon. I could say it was more than a little disappointing, but that’s probably not fair. To begin, I went in with a good deal of ambivalence as to whether I even wanted to try the “love” thing again. Jessel did nothing to sway my thinking in favor of a relationship.
—Big John Mac (2021)
If I recall correctly, both of you said “I love you,” but quite obviously, neither of you meant it. Especially if you’re busy overthinking this. I’m sure she’s equally busy playing head games with herself, too. That ain’t love. Outsiders can see this clearly.
That said, she is a cutie. A candidate for FWB?
As for the rest of your day: good luck with darts. Sorry you got wet feet during your walk, but I guess that’s a standard Hash hazard. May the rest of your Friday not deserve a “fuck you.”
Yeah, perhaps it is the fantasy of love that I love. The reality, not so much. Doubt she’d be interested in the FWB program, I think she’s doing pretty well in her new job as a housekeeper at Barretto’s finest hotel. I’ll post more thoughts about this episode later today.