Earlier this week I wrote about my calling USCIS in an effort to find out what was going on with Jee Yeun’s permanent residency (green card) application.

Well, the good news is I got an email from USCIS today concerning the application, which by the government’s own admission is “outside normal processing times”. Here’s what they had to say:

“You called to inquire on the status of your application. Based on our search your application has been assigned to an Officer for processing. You will be notified by mail when a decision is made, or if the office needs something from you.”

So they told me exactly nothing more than I already knew. If that’s not the classic “don’t call us again, we’ll call you” response, I don’t know what is. A nice little Valentine’s Day fuck you from my Uncle Sam. Right back at you, buddy!