Comments Posted By Brian
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Just to give another peso of advice.
You have to reset your expectations of what “love” is given that you are looking for someone:
A. 30+ years younger than you and
B. from a third world countryAny late 20’s/early 30’s young lady who would date you (and I mean “you” in the generic sense referring to any expat > 50 years of age in a 3rd world Asian country) is not dating you for love. Especially one who is (relatively) uneducated and not very worldly. That is the hard truth. They are looking for something that you can give them that they cannot get from someone their own age and from their own culture. I believe that “something” is comfort and security.
Will they like you? Most certainly, but if you want reciprocal love in the Western sense, probably not.
Does that mean if (generic) you want to continue to look for the same type of lady (late 20’s/early 30’s, not very worldly, etc.), it will probably be some sort of transactional relationship? Probably.
I will love you and give you gifts and take you on trips with me and maybe give you money when your family needs a new water buffalo, and in return you will pretend to love me. CHECK
I will love you and you will love me back just because of who I am, with no expectations I will give you anything. XXXXXXXX (not going to happen)
To get the “girl friend experience (GFE)”, I suggest to go to one of the Phillipino dating sites. I would bet that there are many pretty college educated young ladies willing to give you a GFE, and do a very good job of it. I travel (or at least used to travel) quite a bit to Thailand for work. Met a few guys who are in that type of relationship. Stipend/gifts for the GF, and a pretty, sexy young lady for the guy. The girl plays her part quite well, gives the guy the affection and companionship he wants, and in return, she gets that comfort and stability she otherwise would not have. Some have been in this type of relationship for years and seems to work for them.
The reality is that finding “true love” with the demographic you keep chasing IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. PERIOD. FULL STOP.
i dont think you are a bad judge of character, it is just that you continue to look for a relationship in the traditional Western sense and expect the women you are interested in to have the same viewpoint.
If you were back in the States, would you be expecting to be date 20’s/early 30’s type of woman? If you were a billionaire or super famous, maybe. And even in the US, it is doubtful the woman is there for true love. Look at President Trump and Melania. If he was some ordinary guy on the street, would she would have given him a second glance? Ummmmm, probably not. LOL
So, IMO you have a couple of choices
understand that any future relationship with a much younger lady will be transactional (could be short term, though it could be long term as I mention above)Look for women with a minimum age of 45
I am sure you have heard the layman’s definition of insanity – repeating the same action over and over expecting a different result. LOL
Please take the above advice in the friendly manner I wrote it. Not trying to bash you or anything, but going down the same path again and again is not healthy for you mentally.
» Posted By Brian On 21/January/2022 @ 2:57 pm
Was there a message that went out about wearing orange, and you just missed it?
Or was it some weird coincidence that half of your crew wore orange shirts? LOL
» Posted By Brian On 19/January/2022 @ 2:05 am
Nice pics of your mom! Friendly bro hug John.
» Posted By Brian On 19/January/2022 @ 2:01 am
Sounds like 2022 may be three steps forward and one step back. You seem to be moving in the right direction! Keep it up.
» Posted By Brian On 17/January/2022 @ 6:02 am
Interesting article in the BBC about vaccine hesitancy. The studies that were the basis for the article were conducted pre-COVID, but I think the analysis is valid today.
https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20210720-the-complexities-of-vaccine-hesitancy
They identified five psychological factors which influence a persons health behavior (the 5 C’s)
Confidence: the person’s trust in the vaccines efficacy and safety, the health services offering them, and the policy makers deciding on their rolloutComplacency: whether or not the person considers the disease itself to be a serious risk to their health
Calculation: the individual’s engagement in extensive information searching to weigh up the costs and benefits
Constraints (or convenience): how easy it is for the person in question to access the vaccine
Collective responsibility: the willingness to protect others from infection, through one’s own vaccination
Anyway, an interesting study and worth a read (IMO).
» Posted By Brian On 11/January/2022 @ 12:13 pm
Wow – that pic of you standing next to the tree gives a good perspective on how big it is.
» Posted By Brian On 09/January/2022 @ 11:54 am
Gotta love the cliffhanger!!!
» Posted By Brian On 07/January/2022 @ 11:01 am
Re: being remembered. I think it is also a function of the ratio of Filipinos to Westerners. There is a much larger pool of Filipinos for you to remember vs. the number of Westerners.
When I was living in a small town in Indonesia, it was the same thing. It was a lot easier for them to remember ONE of me rather than me remembering MANY of them.
When does your current lease end? Any of the houses you looked at previously that were for sale still for sale? If that is the case, maybe the owner(s) would be more agreeable to rent?
» Posted By Brian On 03/January/2022 @ 8:44 am
Happy 2022 John. I am sure it will be filled with two steps forward and one step back. All part of this crazy thing we call life!!
(I was thinking the same thing about Martin’s GF. She is a cutie!)
» Posted By Brian On 02/January/2022 @ 5:34 am
Bars of Barretto: The Green Room (Updated September 8, 2022)
Appreciate the tour. And yes, you probably need to update the list as the mood strikes.
Any qualitative ranking is based on the reviewers preferences and whims. Best movie ever? Greatest basketball team ever? etc. Purely subjective. Even things that are quantitative (e.g. fastest 100m in history) have some subjectivity to them. If Jesse Owens from the 1930’s had the tracks, equipment, training and nutrition that Usain Bolt had in the 2000’s, would his time have been faster? etc.
Fun to debate however.
Thanks for the journey!
» Posted By Brian On 31/December/2021 @ 10:12 am
Merry Christmas! Good things happen to good people and you are one of the good ones!
» Posted By Brian On 26/December/2021 @ 7:44 am
ATM’s and elevator etiquette in Asia both leave something to be desired. Not sure why people who are waiting to enter an elevator cannot figure out to step to the side to allow exiting people to actually exit!!!! Aaargh!! Instead, I always end up in this crazy dance trying to get out of the elevators.
Re: getting cash. I can understand that the local bars/vendors/tradesmen work in a cash economy, but do the larger dept. stores groceries, etc. prefer cash instead of credit cards? Or is it just too much of hassle to get a credit card for yourself?
» Posted By Brian On 25/December/2021 @ 8:04 am
As always, a good review. Enjoying the series.
» Posted By Brian On 25/December/2021 @ 7:57 am
Sorry that it turned out the way it did. Unfortunate, but better that you found out early in the relationship.
The more I think about what Kevin commented a few days ago about ages difference, the more I think he has a very valid point.
Trying to get into a relationship with a 20 something is probably an exercise in futility. If you were back in the States and all things being equal, who do you think you could have a meaningful relationship with; a 20 something or someone a bit more mature? If you answer is the more mature woman, why would you think the PI would be any different?
If you really want to focus on the younger set to the exclusion of all others, then you are probably just destined to have the Girl Friend Experience (GFE) type of relationship. And i think you have mentioned that in the past – FWB but also at least the appearance that the get togethers are more than just about sex and money.
Put someone on “retainer/monthly stipend”, get the GFE when she is with you and dont get angry/frustrated with what she does with the rest of the time. I am sure that if you looked further afield (e.g. Manila or something like that), you could probably find someone looking for a sugar daddy and willing to be your girlfriend as long as the monthly payment is made. Probably won’t be cheap. But, like many things in life, you get what you pay for.
Again, sorry this did not work out, but you seem to be perfectly demonstrating the layman’s definition of insanity – repeating the same action and expecting a different result.
Dont mean to sound harsh, but….
» Posted By Brian On 21/December/2021 @ 9:34 am
I think that Pearl is just a bit naive and thinks that she has put Dick in the “friend zone”. She may not be very good at reading the cues from Dick and feels that Dick is just a friend and it is mutual. In her mind, she has let him (subtly) know that he is just a friend, and naively assumes that he understands.
Just my 1 peso worth.
» Posted By Brian On 20/December/2021 @ 3:28 am
Bars of Barretto: Cheap Charlies
Those stairs look like the ones going up/down at Dolce Vida. I remember one night going into the ground level door leading to Dolce Vida and finding a bunch of people gathered around some guy at the bottom who have fallen down the stairs in a drunken stupor. He eventually got to his feet, blood dripping from various cuts and staggered out into the night. LOL
» Posted By Brian On 19/December/2021 @ 4:44 am
Are those kids in the group pick part of the Hash (eg children of hashers), or were they just in the area when you took your pic?
Re: You and Pearl. Have you “disassociated” yourself from your various FWB? Mentioned this before, and I realize that this happened after a long night drinking, but ending the night by putting 100 peso notes in bargirl blouses, while a helluva lot of fun, is not a good look from the perspective of a potential partner seeing/hearing about this. Being that it is a small town, anything you do will probably make its way back to Pearl’s ears. If the shoe was on the other foot……..
» Posted By Brian On 17/December/2021 @ 9:31 am
Reminds me of the old adage:
A guy enters a relationship thinking he has found the perfect girl and does not want her to change at all
A gal enters a relationship thinking she has found a pretty good guy, and with a few changes, he will be perfect.
What happens is that as the relationship progresses, the gal is the one who changes while the guy cant or won’t change.
Both end up being disappointed.
(A cynical take, I admit. Just thought it was kind of funny)
» Posted By Brian On 14/December/2021 @ 9:29 am
Looks like that was a most excellent walk! Great views!!
» Posted By Brian On 11/December/2021 @ 8:30 am
Playing devils advocate:
Imagine this was the scenario
John spends the night in a long conversation with Girl X (not Pearl). Just sitting at a table talking.
Pearl spends the night in a bar full of guys, buys them drinks, and at the end of the night, puts 100 pesos in each of their pants
Would you have any problem with the above scenario? Is there a double standard being applied?
» Posted By Brian On 10/December/2021 @ 9:42 am
Sometimes the best days are those rooted in simplicity. Cant ask for much else. Good on ya’.
Re: your comment on beer reminded me of the old joke. “I decided to give up women, drinking, and sex. It was the worst 15 minutes of my life.”
» Posted By Brian On 05/December/2021 @ 2:46 am
Has the PI banned international visitors? I would have thought someone who owns a business would have something other than a tourist visa that may have given him some flexibility in returning.
(As an aside, depending on who Jerry was flying for, years in cockpit, etc., those guys can do pretty well. I remember reading an article about a United pilot – 30+ years, captain, flying their ultra long hauls, etc. He had the Chicago – Hong Kong route, so was able to get his hours in with only about 3 round trips a month. And he was making about $225K/year and eligible for a pension.)
Random thought on Sheryl – i wonder how her life has turned out over the past 14 years.
» Posted By Brian On 05/December/2021 @ 2:39 am
+1 on what Kevin said!!
» Posted By Brian On 28/November/2021 @ 4:18 am
A lot of symbolism, memories and pictures all in one post.
From the Beatles, Korea, A Bridge Too Far, darts, gender confusion, great scenery (nature and otherwise), this post had it all!!!
Thanks for sharing!!
» Posted By Brian On 26/November/2021 @ 2:06 am
John, I enjoy the blog, rants and all!
Happy Thanksgiving!
» Posted By Brian On 26/November/2021 @ 1:56 am
Unfortunately, the whole COVID thing has gotten so politicized on both sides.
The misinformation is pretty rampant and neither side has the moral high ground on this one.
For example:
From the left:
“I heard from a friend of a friend or a friend who read somewhere that COVID deaths are greater than any other single cause. If we all dont get vaccinated, the human race will be wiped out.”From the right
“COVID is just a conspiracy from the left to take away our rights”etc etc
I say the above tongue in cheek and with a quite a bit of hyperbole, but with all of the noise by by both sides, getting real information is so difficult. And that in turns feeds the misinformation machine.
So, my current philosophy is to stop following any COVID related news. For me at least, not worth it to get excited about news that I am not sure is anywhere close to being correct.
» Posted By Brian On 25/November/2021 @ 2:04 pm
Good luck John. She is a cutie and seems to have a personality to match.
» Posted By Brian On 23/November/2021 @ 11:55 am
Do the ladies have a “quota” of lady drinks that they must sell? I know that for example, in Thailand, most of the “girlie bars” have a minimum quota for the girls to meet on a monthly basis. They obviously get some per cent of each lady drink bought for them, but failure to reach the quota may mean a docking of pay.
(This is pre-pandemic. COVID has knocked alot of business models on their ass.)
» Posted By Brian On 23/November/2021 @ 11:52 am
Dipping our Tibag in the creek
Cool looking hike.
Nice to find new places even after all of the walking you have done.
» Posted By Brian On 21/November/2021 @ 10:33 am
Bars of Barretto: Rock Lobster
«« Back To Stats PageYeah, Rock Lobster seems like it has a nice ambiance. This seems to have the nicest inside of pretty much any of the bars you have reviewed.
But living where you are living, agree with the choice to be outside.
» Posted By Brian On 20/November/2021 @ 10:14 am