One thing about growing older, you have a lot more things to remember. I guess that can and should be a good thing. Except when it’s not.
I’m not complaining about my lot in life. I’m trying hard to move forward but find myself too often looking back in regret. And all I can do in response is shut down. That’s cold, and harsh, and unfair to those that love me, but fleeing is what I do best it seems.
So, to those I’ve hurt by my silence, I’m truly sorry. I’m so far gone and so disconnected that I’m not sure where to begin to find my way back. Or what I would do when I got there.
I’m just living life without a net.
White Line Fever a sickness born down deep inside my soul
White Line Fever the years keep flying by like a high line pole
The wrinkles in my forehead show the miles I’ve put behind me
They continue to remind me how fast I’m growing old
Guess I’ll die with this fever in my soul
I wonder just what makes a man keep pushing on
Why must I keep on singing this old highway song
I’ve been from coast to coast a 100 times or more
I haven’t found one place that I ain’t been before
White Line Fever a sickness born down deep inside my soul
White Line Fever the years keep flying by like a high line pole
–Graham Parsons
Well John all I can say is that the way back is with friends. As our conversations in the past have been and nothing has changed you have people who are your friends and your family. When i needed those talks you were there and so vice versa also. Your safety net is the people who care about. Take a minute and look at who they are and use them to help you. Thats what friends are for (true).
HI Dad,
HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!!!
Saying that in this message should answer any questions on purpose or regret. You have so many people who love you. The worst thing you can do is look in the past for validation on who you are now. You have so many who truly love you and will always be there. By the way, come home soon, we miss you. Gracyn is such an angel. Kevin and Lynn are remarkable together. Your son is a celebrity in our little city and has a wonderful work ethic. He has always strived to make you proud. When I see Grandpa with Gracyn he turns to butter. You did a wonderful thing by moving them here. I am so happy that she is able to experience a relationship her Great Grandparents. She loves Grandpa so much. She calls him PaPa, just like I did when I was her age. And she loves her Granny too. Although, at times I think she might love Baby more than any of us.
I think it is great what you did by going to Korea. We are still here and look forward to you coming home though. I love you, Dad!
On this Father’s Day, know that we’re thinking of you now and not you in the past.
Hey John- I’m still checking your site regularly. Because I care about you. Whatever you’re going through, don’t let it stop you from restoring what you think is lost. Start today, start from right now and bridge the gap!