These past few nights my dreams have all been Philippines related. Not in any specific way, they just took place in the Philippines or featured Filipinos.
While my sub-conscious has apparently taken something of leap into the future, here in the present I’m consciously aware that I’m withdrawing from my Korean life. Such as it is.
Yesterday was the opening night of the new dart league season, the first season in over 10 years in which I haven’t participated (well, except for the year I was stuck in the states waiting on the green card for Jee Yeun). I was at the bar of course to cheer for the home team, but more and more it feels like I have one foot out the door.
Eight or nine months to go yet, so I need to maintain some focus on reality, but I’m very much aware of the fact that a new life beckons. I’m not so foolish as to expect it will be better, but given my state of mind, different will suffice.
Korea for me has become a land of broken dreams and broken promises. And there always seems to be something to remind me of that sad fact. So I need to let go and move on. I’ve been wallowing in self-pity for far too long, I fear if I stay here I may drown in it.
In other news, it was back to the doctor on Monday morning. Dr. Joe did the honors this time, and I walked out with another impressive collection of pills. I honestly do think I’m slowly getting better, but without the meds I can’t get a decent nights sleep. And it’s no good being sick and tired. Trust me on that.
I will likely feel better about things when I can start walking again. It’s just been too damn cold. No matter how warm I dress, breathing that cold air wreaks havoc on the lungs. Hopefully next week I’ll get back in my routine.
Ah well, enough of this. Things change. Stick around.
If there was an award for most pessimistic, I probably wouldn’t even be nominated.—anonymous