Turn the page

 

Waiting to see what happens next!

Ah well, moving forward I suppose.  Regaining my perspective.  

In a different world I’d be writing something exciting from Hong Kong.  In this world you get to hear about me.  

And I’m back in full acceptance mode:

Accept that the past is the past, learn from your mistakes and move on.

Accept that it hurts to lose, but embrace the opportunity to find a woman truly worthy of my love.

Accept that old dreams die, but new dreams and adventures are waiting to be embraced.

I will not deny that I’ve been battling the onset of depression.  But I have not been fighting it alone.  I have often felt like the proverbial solitary man, and then I discovered just how many people actually do care about me.

One friend reminded me that I have a beautiful life.  I asked for an example of the beauty in my life.  And then she told me the story of how I didn’t give my daughter up for adoption.  That really blew me away.  First of all, I don’t even remember ever telling her about that amazing day all those years ago.  Or that she cared enough to actually remember it.  And yes, that decision I made as a 20 year old “man” has made all the difference in my beautiful life.  Thank you, Mi Young.

Two women that have loved me in the past and suffered because of it continually reached out with words of encouragement and support.  I’m a stubborn bastard and tend to have to learn things the hard way, but it means a lot to me that they didn’t give up on me.  Even if I deserve this Karmic justice. Thank you, Eva and Maria.

And I have had many friends who read my blog tell me “Kevin Kim is right.  Listen to him!”  So, thanks for that as well, Kevin.

I considered spending the holiday weekend in Bangkok (it’s too soon for the Philippines right now, but I’ll be celebrating the New Year there).  In the end I just didn’t have the energy to make the journey.  I’m going to spend the time instead getting comfortable with my new reality.  

It’s a beautiful life.  Time to start the next chapter.

Well it’s all right, even if they say you’re wrong
Well it’s all right, sometimes you gotta be strong
Well it’s all right, As long as you got somewhere to lay
Well it’s all right, everyday is Judgment Day

Maybe somewhere down the road aways 
You’ll think of me, wonder where I am these days 
Maybe somewhere down the road when somebody plays 
Purple haze

Well it’s all right, even if you’re old and gray
Well it’s all right, you still got something to say
Well it’s all right, remember to live and let live
Well it’s all right, the best you can do is forgive

Well it’s all right, riding around in the breeze
Well it’s all right, if you live the life you please
Well it’s all right, even if the sun don’t shine
Well it’s all right, we’re going to the end of the line

 

5 thoughts on “Turn the page

  1. En avant!

    The Road goes ever on and on
    Down from the door where it began.
    Now far ahead the Road has gone,
    And I must follow, if I can,
    Pursuing it with eager feet,
    Until it joins some larger way
    Where many paths and errands meet.
    And whither then? I cannot say.

  2. You were lucky! You had two important women in the Bible.. Jesus! How coukd u lose them! lol!

  3. Widow, it must be God’s plan, right?

    Kevin, funny but that song came up on my play list while I was walking and did trigger me thinking of writing this post. But later on I heard “End of the Line” and it seem to fit my mood too.

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