This week I put forth the effort to contact the Office of Personnel Management (the folks who administer my civil service retirement) to find out why the wife has not as yet been added to my Blue Cross health plan.  And what an effort it was!  Numerous calls on Monday garnered nothing but a busy signal.  Same thing on Tuesday.  So, I was practically ecstatic when I actually heard ringing after I dialed this morning.

Of course, I still had to navigate the Byzantine robotic phone tree to get to the option I needed (turns out is was none of the above).  The robot voice then advised that due to funding reductions hold times would be longer than normal (and normal has always been frustratingly long).  About 15 minutes later an actual human being came on the line and pleasantly asked how she could help.

I told her the sad tale about having sent my marriage certificate and the appropriate government forms required to have my health plan changed from single to family back in April, and here it was July and I hadn’t heard a word.  Meanwhile, my sweet wife has been living in pain and in need of medical treatment.  I provided the voice with my retirement account number and she went to check the status.

She came back to tell me my request had been processed yesterday, and my benefit change was effective July 1 (my annuity is paid monthly on the 1st, my August check will technically be paying me for the month of July).  Maybe that’s why I was getting busy signals on Tuesday–they were busy working on my plan changes.  So, I asked when Blue Cross would know to send me an updated benefits card and she said  it would be 24-48 hours.

So, three months to process my request and 3 days to reach a human being at OPM.  That’s a level of service from Uncle Sam that I have come to know and expect.  And lord knows the folks at USCIS (immigration) are much, much worse.

Still, progress is progress.