Hare today, gone tomorrow

Another Hash Monday and that means I’ve got a full day ahead of me. So it is blog now or not at all. After this post, I’m pretty sure you’ll agree I’m choosing the wrong option. Ah well, what else is new?

So, I’m the Hare and that means I’m responsible for laying a trail my fellow Hashers can follow without getting lost and perhaps even being a fun hike. My co-Hare and I have hopefully achieved both aspects for today’s Hash. It didn’t rain last night but I’m going out later this morning anyway to re-walk the trail and make sure everything is still well-marked. The On-Home today will be at Derelick’s house on Rizal Extension. Actually, doing my trail isn’t much longer than the walk to Derelick’s on the pavement. Going to take along some sausages to grill up for my lunch once I arrive On-Home. And there will be plenty of cold beer to wash them down.

Here’s a peek into the future. Today’s trail comes in right at 5K. It’s probably a little more difficult than folks are expecting for an old fucker like me. Three decent climbs. Still, it should be fun.

In other news, Facebook is getting lots of pushback of late for their less than honest fact-checking and outright censorship of political views the lefties in charge disagree with. I posted this today for shits and giggles:

Suck it, Zuck!

Speaking of giggles, I thought this was funny:

But then again, I guess that comes as no surprise to my faithful readers.

I liked this one too:

That joke is made to order for someone who loves puns the way I do!

And I do believe that’s just about enough for now.

UPDATE: Geez, I used the Hare today, gone tomorrow title last October. You’d think I could go a year at least before re-using a bad pun like that. Sorry!

Here’s to health!

Well, the state of my mental health is as good as it ever was I suppose (shuddup!). Yesterday I enjoyed this view from the Arizona floating bar and it gave me a peaceful, easy feeling.

Sometimes I think it’s a shame when I get feeling better when I’m feeling no pain.

The physical health seems to be a bit of a mixed bag at the moment. I did sleep through the night for the first time in a week and achieved a sleep score of 73, as measured by my Fitbit. I began the week in the 40’s, so it is good to be trending upwards. But my resting heart rate is at 77 instead of the mid-60’s which is my normal. And my blood pressure is in the low 140’s, up from the normal for me low 130’s. I’m maintaining my weight at just under my 200-pound goal.

Oh, and I haven’t vaped since last year, which makes it over a week now. I didn’t quit vaping (yet) because I think it is a danger to my health. In some respects, I think vaping can be helpful in opening up my COPD damaged lung passages, and at least one study seems to confirm this. The reason I stopped vaping was in an effort to deal with this latest episode of bronchitis. I’ve recently started using vape juice I purchased locally instead of importing it from the USA and I’m unsure of the quality of the contents. So, I’m taking a break to see what impact if any that has on my breathing. Oddly enough, I haven’t missed vaping as much as I thought I would. I had previously reduced my nicotine level so low I’m probably no longer addicted. So, we’ll see what the future holds as to whether I start again.

No coughing fits today or last night, so it could be I’ve turned the corner on the bronchitis attack. I still feel very tired and lethargic. I actually aborted my morning hike halfway through because I felt like shit. Came home and took a nap instead. I have the Hash this afternoon and I’m a bit worried. Even climbing the slight incline on the street up to my house leaves me panting. God only knows how I’ll deal with a mountain. Well, I ain’t gonna be no hero, so if I ain’t feelin’ it, I ain’t climbin’ it.

But enough about me! I’m still finding funny ass shit on the internet to keep me amused. Even the Soleimani stuff is still going strong…

“I’m delivering it via drone…”
She’s hunting for a Red November I suppose…
Don’t go breakin’ my heart…
The truth will set you free!
Damn, I hate when that happens! Well, it hasn’t happened to me. Yet.

Alright, wish me luck at the Hash. Or call an ambulance. One of those.

Me me me meme

For some reason I was besieged with memes in my Facebook news feed yesterday. These were some of my favorites (in random order):

Or maybe I was just bored. Anyway, let me cleanse your palate with a couple of dog pictures from our morning walk:

There’s a stretch of road with no traffic and I let Lucky and Buddy run free for a few minutes…

Not much else going on. Cloudy with intermittent sprinkles today. Should make the Hash a little more comfortable this afternoon.

Stay tuned.

On my day

Turns out I was a fool to think I could take on the responsibility of two dogs. Oh well, lesson learned. I think the most humane thing to do is take Lucky way up in the hills and let him go. He’s a smart dog, I’m sure he’ll learn to fend for himself. I guess you weren’t so Lucky after all. Sorry!

I remember many years ago I was attending some labor relations training in Memphis, Tennessee. One evening in the hotel bar a couple of freelance prostitutes approached me and a buddy and offered their services. We declined and jokingly pointed across the room to where the instructor of our course was sitting and told them, “he’ll be interested!”.

The next day at the conclusion of the course the instructor called students up one by one for their certificate of completion. And then he said “Is there anyone I missed?” Me and my friend raised our hands. He looked at us and said “this is the first time I’ve ever had students fail my course” then tore up two certificates in front of the astounded group before dismissing the class. When everyone had departed except for us he came over and said those prostitutes wouldn’t leave him alone, even followed him into the hotel elevator. He then gave us our certificates, smiled and said “if you can’t take a joke, fuck you!”

That’s a true story. Unlike the first paragraph. Which you would have to be a fool to believe. Today of all days!

Life goes on

Assessing the latest train wreck. In the meantime there’s this:

Laughter is good medicine.
You know, a real man doesn’t have to respond to attacks on masculinity, no matter how toxic the haters say it is. But this is funny anyway!
Bite it bitches!

Anyway, I’ll be back.

Eight years ago…

…my mother passed away.

She died at home. The last few days she was happy to be reunited with her sisters. I had retired and moved into the house and she thanked me for coming home to her.
She always did her best to raise me up right. Even when I proved to be a disappointment she loved me anyway.
She was a fantastic grandma to my kids as well. In fact, she was instrumental in helping me raise them after my divorce.
And she loved my father through over 60 years of marriage!

Miss you mama!

Coincidentally, me and the brothers just accepted a buyer’s offer on the parent’s house today. And I guess that just leaves the memories now.


Mother don’t worry, I killed the last snake that lived in the creek bed 
Mother don’t worry, I’ve got some money I saved for the weekend 
Mother remember being so stern with that girl who was with me? 
Mother remember the blink of an eye when I breathed through your body?

So may the sunrise bring hope where it once was forgotten 
Sons are like birds, flying upward over the mountain

Mother I made it up from the bruise on the floor of this prison 
Mother I lost it, all of the fear of the Lord I was given 
Mother forget me now that the creek drank the cradle you sang to 
Mother forgive me, I sold your car for the shoes that I gave you

So may the sunrise bring hope where it once was forgotten 
Sons could be birds, taken broken up to the mountain

Mother don’t worry, I’ve got a coat and some friends on the corner 
Mother don’t worry, she’s got a garden we’re planting together 
Mother remember the night that the dog got her pups in the pantry? 
Blood on the floor, fleas on their paws,
And you cried ’til the morning

So may the sunrise bring hope where it once was forgotten 
Sons are like birds, flying always over the mountain

Grammar matters

For Kevin Kim:

On his 70th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife.

The certificate was for consultation with an Indian medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a simple cure for erectile dysfunction.
The husband went to the reservation and saw the medicine man.

The old Indian gave him a potion and, with a grip on his shoulder, warned
‘This is a powerful medicine.
You take only a teaspoonful, and then say: ‘1-2-3.’
When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform for as long as you want.”
The man thanked the old Indian, and as he walked away, he turned and asked:
“How do I stop the medicine from working?”
“Your partner must say ‘1-2-3-4,’ he responded, “but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon.”

He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine
and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom.
When she came in, he took off his clothes and said: “1-2-3!”
Immediately, he was the manliest of men.
His wife was so excited she began throwing off her clothes, and asked:
“What was the 1-2-3 for?”

And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.

Who’s whom?

Sorry, Kevin Kim.  I saw this and immediately thought of you.  Don’t know why.

In other news, I’m glad I stopped listening to those voices in my head.

And finally, it was two years ago today that I posed with this elephant (I’m the one on the left) in Cambodia.

I’m a lesser man these days.  269 pounds back then.  204 at yesterday’s weigh-in.  5 pounds more to reach my goal.

And life goes on…

 

 

Maybe I’m a fool

To hell with it. I’m going to the airport and getting on a plane. Don’t even care where it is going, first jet out to anywhere. When I get to wherever I wind up I’ll max out my credit cards, drain my savings account, and then decide what to do next. I won’t be back. Goodbye Korea!

Hey, that’s my plan!

Life is like The Onion.

“I’ve gotten so used to being unfulfilled here that sometimes I forget there’s a whole wide world out there where I could be equally depressed and joyless.”

“I don’t know where I’m going to fritter away the next stage of my life just like I’ve wasted the previous two decades, but I know it can’t be here,” he continued.

I feel I owe it to myself to take advantage of some new opportunities to experience the crushing professional stagnation and perpetual self-loathing I’ve always felt.”

“Honestly, at this point, I might just throw a dart at a map and go be a useless fuckup wherever it lands,” he added.

Works for me!

Fuck that

Fucking hilarious.

Had the pleasure of being treated to dinner at Casablanca in HBC last night with my friend and renowned blogger Kevin Kim. I wasn’t very good company I’m afraid because I experienced a coughing fit that lasted throughout the fucking meal.  Kevin was gracious about it, and I also appreciated his encouragement as I struggled up the hill to my villa. It was a really fucked up situation.

Today I’ve felt mostly fine, not sure what the fuck is up with that.  If I’m not fully recovered when this round of meds is completed I am going to have to get more assertive about finding out just what the fuck is wrong with me.  Kevin sent me a link to pneumonia symptoms, but given the tests I have had done I’m thinking that’s not it.  I hope the fuck I’m right.

Tomorrow is inauguration day and I’m sure liberal heads will be exploding across our fair nation. I suggest putting that anger into meaningful action! Why the fuck not?

And no, I’m not serious.  I want all my liberal countrymen to stick around and enjoy the ride of a lifetime.  No fucking way he can be worse than Hillary, right?

I wish the fuck I could learn to be more tolerant though…

I’m off to Camp Humphreys in Pyeongtaek at 0700 tomorrow.  They say we are in for snow tonight, but the Captain I talked to said the bus would roll regardless.  The Army always goes rolling along after all.  Fuckin’ A!

 

It’s a marvel

UPDATE: From a Facebook commenter:

Kevin comments below that he'd be the perfect superhero for dealing with constipation.  I think the motto above fits that perfectly...

Kevin comments below that he’d be the perfect superhero for dealing with constipation. I think the motto above fits that perfectly…

Some of these new super heroes are just plain lame.

barrier

 

You saw it here first

Unless you also follow me on Facebook.

Unnatural beauty...

Unnatural beauty…

The New Yorker has a feature asking why South Korea is the plastic surgery capital of the world.  The answer, if there really is one, seems to be a cultural thing that I can’t quite grasp.

I like the way Korean women look without modification. And true beauty is found in a woman’s unique naturalness. That’s my opinion at least. I also dislike all the boob jobs you see in the USA, so this is not just a Korean issue.  Frankly, when I spot fakery (including that whole double-eyelid thing) it’s a bit of a turn-off.  But then I’m not the demographic these gals are trying to attract.

Changing gears, last night I’m sitting at the bar and past, present, and future walk in.  It was tense.

Which reminded me of back when I was in school my English teacher looked my way and said “name two pronouns”. I said, “who, me?”

Alrighty then.  Thanks for coming and please don’t forget to tip your server.  Come back soon, I’ll be here all week.

When you assume…

…you make an ass of you and me.  Or so says an old saw.

Today I had the occasion to write the word “assassin”.  I had never previously noticed that this word contains “ass” twice.  Back to back.  Asses rubbing together as it were.

It’s an amazing world when you stop and think about it.