Back in the day


This is how I looked in 1988.  I have this fantasy about losing years along with pounds.  Alas, I know my youth is paradise lost forever.  Although to be honest I still have the mindset of a thirtysomething.  Imagine my shock and disappointment every time I encounter a mirror.  On the other hand, getting older does have some benefits. Chief among them is that aging sure as hell beats the alternative.

The story behind the photo is that I was an “up and comer” in Postal Service management (alright, not that high a bar I admit) and my boss wanted to see if I had the right stuff for future promotion.  I was sent to Roanoke, Virginia to serve as the acting Director of Human Resources.  The previous Director had been fired for sexually harassing the woman in the photo and emotions were running high.  Half the staff supported my predecessor and the other half supported the victim.  It was a challenging assignment but I managed to get things squared away and the higher ups seemed pleased with my efforts.

I’m getting some kind of bullshit pin (probably for accumulating sick leave hours or years of service or some such nonsense).  Nancy Ara was my labor relations specialist and a good and kind person.  Sadly, she died of breast cancer a few years later.

The wait is over

If you’ve been waiting for my weekly weigh-in that is.  It’s not quite been a week, but I’ve picked Sunday as the day to mark progress (or failure) in my war with obesity.

I was sorely tested yesterday.  I started the morning with some eggs and bacon (but no toast or hash browns of course).  Later on we drove to Aiken for a big tourney in a format that required continuous play (standing and walking) for five straight hours.   Anyway, as we were arriving Jee Yeun announced her craving for a Burger King Junior Whooper.  I try to accommodate her desires when possible, and the people at the embassy did say that I had to feed her as a condition of granting her visa.  It smelled so good, but I refused the proffered bite.

So, I basically starved myself all afternoon (ha, you could call it the hunger games I suppose).  I did indulge myself three ultra light beers (2.6g of carbohydrates each) which is about half the amount I’d normally drink under stressful tournament conditions.  I filled the gaps with Diet Coke.


Anyway, despite my hunger I resisted the urge for fast food on the long drive home and instead thought about what I’d cook for myself when I arrived.  That turned out to be two grilled hamburger patties, two small corn-on-the-cob, and a small chef salad.  Yeah, I’m still eating a lot, just limiting the carbs.

And now (drum roll please) the results:

Weight: 272.0 (down from 278.5)

Girth (because circumference is too hard to spell): 51.0″ (down from 51.5″)

I’ll take those results!  Of course, sustainability is another issue.  But so far, so good.

Dazed and confused

So last night I drive out to Aiken, SC for a darts tourney.  It takes about an hour and 15 minutes to get to the VFW post which serves as the venue.  I’ve driven it two or three times before, but not since last September.  And never on a dark, rainy, foggy night.

There are two ways to go–one through Aiken with multiple traffic signals, and the back way down narrow country roads.  I prefer the back way.  There are a couple of turns you have to make, but I figured with my trusty Garmin GPS navigation system I was golden.  Except my Garmin was non-functioning due to a missing power cable (my son had borrowed it and apparently returned it with the wrong cable).  Alright, no worries I figured, I can remember the way.

And I did remember, for the most part.  I made all the right turns except the last one.  Of course I didn’t realize the error of my ways until I was 15 minutes down the wrong road.  And I had about 15 minutes to get to the tourney, so there was no turning back.  I reckoned I was going in generally the correct direction, but given the twisting, turning nature of the highway I couldn’t be sure.  I realized that I had made the turn too soon, but calculated this road could potentially drop me in the vicinity of my destination, albeit further up the street.

So I kept driving and driving.  It was, ahem, black as night and I couldn’t see much except the occasional ramshackle farm house.  I could almost swear I heard faint echos of dueling banjos playing in the distance.  I was seemingly the only car on this road to nowhere and there was nary a gas station or convenience store in sight.  Not that I would have stopped and asked for directions mind you.

Eventually I came to a fork in the road, so I took it.  I hoped that bearing right was the correct choice, but at this point I was pretty much without a clue.  Then I came to an intersection and chose to go west.  It was a pretty major highway and I figured it had to lead somewhere.  Although when I saw a sign for the University of Georgia conference center I was more than a little concerned.  Well, turns out I wasn’t in Georgia but I was still pretty far from where I was supposed to be and still wasn’t clear on just how to get there.  So, I figured the tourney wasn’t going to be happening for me despite my best efforts.

After awhile things seemed more familiar and sure enough I spied the road to the VFW on the left (it should have been on the right).  I figured they’d already completed the draw, but they were sitting on 33 players, so I was the odd man in!

Played the tourney, took a fourth place (which isn’t bad considering how out of sorts I was upon arrival).  We finished after midnight, but I braved “the back way” for the return trip.  I saw where I had gone wrong (turned one road too soon, but that made all the difference).  Made it to I-20 and had the highway pretty much to myself.  It was raining like crazy though and I remembered the Big Hominid doing a crash and burn due to hydroplaning, so I slowed down to the speed limit.

Made it home by 1:30, tired and hungry.  Now, in the olden days I would have fixed myself a big bowl of ice cream but sadly those days are in my past.  Instead, I took out some cook and serve roast beef slices from the freezer and popped them in the microwave.  The instructions clearly state to let the package stand for two minutes after cooking.  I was hungry so the hell with that!  Wound up with two big steam blisters on my left hand.  Hurt like a motherfucker all night.  At least it wasn’t my dart throwing hand.

I’m back to Aiken this morning to play in a qualifying tourney for the Regionals in Augusta next weekend.  I’ll have to throw better than I did last night, that’s for sure.   But, by gawd, I know my way to the VFW now.  Even in daylight!



So, I bought the GIMP photo editing software.  On the blog I often must resize photos to fit the window as it were.  Now I’m trying to learn how to use the software.  Let’s see if this photo fits, shall we?


ok, I think this one is going to be ok as well.  But geez, this Gimp is going to take a lot of getting used to.  I reckon must features I’ll never need (read: figure out).

And away we go

Hopefully.  Yes, the time has been long overdue for me to shed more than a few pounds.  And so today I begin.

My strategy is to engage in a low carbohydrate diet regimen coupled with some moderate exercise (walking the treadmill, and as the weather dictates, riding my bicycle).

My goal is to lose 60 pounds in sixth months.

My current weight is 278.5 (shuddup!).  I carry most of my pounds around the middle and that is where I hope and expect to lose most of my weight.  My walrus-like girth (as measured across the belly button) is 51.5 inches.

The hardest part thus far was yesterday’s excursion to the Publix supermarket.  Walking down the aisles past all the amazing foods I’ve been missing these past several months in Korea was torturous.  I’m a snacker by nature and oh how I love eating sweets.  No mas!  Anio! Verbotten!  Fumay la bush!

Heck, even some stuff I thought was going to be acceptable proved upon further inspection of the label to be rich in carb grams.  So, it’s not going to be easy sledding folks.

My blog buddy the Big Hominid has recently embarked on a similar course of action.  Not to put any pressure on Kevin, but I’ll be looking to him for inspiration.  Or maybe an excuse.

Wish me well.

What’s that smell?

Home safe and sound in South Carolina. Customs sent me over to the Agricultural Inspection area. Guy there asked what I had in the suitcase and I said kimchi (and that’s all that was in the suitcase) and he asked me “what’s that?” Ok, maybe I’ve been in Korea too long but I kinda assume everyone knows what kimchi is. So, for a moment I wasn’t sure how to respond. I finally said it was sorta like pickled cabbage. Which of course doesn’t do it justice.

He then went off to consult with another government agent and shortly thereafter the suitcase was opened. They took one look (or maybe it was one whiff) closed the bag and told me I could be on my way with my kimchi.

The Walrus at the Oche

The outlook was looking bleak that night as 501 did play
His opponent sat on a double 16–an out he could hit any day
While the Walrus was faced with a hefty sixty and a ton
A possible out for sure–but one he’d never done

It would have been much closer but he was throwing like a dope
So there didn’t seem to be much cause for having any hope
A victory seemed unlikely, but then you never know
And win or lose you still got to make the throw

The Walrus swigged his beer then stepped up to the line
It could have been that he was drunk or just really feeling fine
When Jee Yeun shouted “fighting baby” he let go with a small fart
There wasn’t any question it was The Walrus with the dart

There was ease in his manner as The Walrus took his stance
He took a breath, shook his head, and wiped his hands upon his pants
He gazed upon his target and then let his Widow fly
When the chalker called out “triple” The Walrus heaved a sigh

“He always was a lucky fuck” someone muttered in the crowd
“Come on! let’s see another one!” shouted others right out loud
It hadn’t seemed that hot before but The Walrus did perspire
And then he threw another dart–a triple, just inside the wire

And now what seemed impossible was just a 40 out
The Walrus was feeling confident, there wasn’t any doubt
He owned the double 20, or so he liked to think
He’d throw this dart, win the match, and buy the house a drink

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright
The band is playing somewhere and somewhere hearts are light
And somewhere men are laughing and somewhere children shout
But there is no joy in Itaewon–The Walrus has bounced out.

(with apologies to Ernest Lawrence Thayer)

Happy New Year

I started mine off right with a sweet victory at the Bull and Barrel tourney.  The finish was just a few minutes past midnight, so that makes it a great start to a new year.  Let’s hope it carries forward.


I split the W160,000 first place money with my partner Brandy.

Fred ain’t dead…

…I just hadn’t seen him in awhile.

Last night at the Bull and Barrel I had the pleasure of encountering an old dart buddy who doesn’t get out to Itaewon much these days.  It had been a few years since we last talked but I was pleasantly surprised that he was up on all my latest happenings.  Well, at least the ones that were posted on this pitiful blog.

It was great seeing Fred again.  And to encounter someone who actually reads LTG was a definite treat. What are the odds?