Let it be

Still alive and (mostly) kickin’. I’m just not able to muster the energy to post these days. Other than work and my personal life, everything is going great. But I’m ok.

Short version:

My boss left Korea yesterday. I’m acting Director and one of the referred candidates for taking the job permanately. Que sera, sera.

I’m playing .500 darts this season. Some moments of brillance sandwiched with amazing mediocrity.

I am spending the long 4th of July weekend in the Philippines. I really need a break.

I will be going back to the USA for the last two weeks of July. A week in Massachussetts and time with family in South Carolina.

I don’t know when I will post again. My life has become a bit of joke these days. I really hate being mocked.

The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them. Words shrink thoughts that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they are brought out. But it’s more than that, isn’t it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost your dearly, only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you said at all or why you thought it so important you almost cried when you were saying it.

That’s the worst I think. When the secret stays locked within, not for want of a teller, but for want of an understanding ear.

–Stephen King
(from memory, may not be 100% accurate. So sue me.)

Pork and beans

This Weezer video is rockin’ the internet. I actually saw it a couple of weeks ago and never got around to posting it. But now that the blogfather Instapundit has linked it I can say with some certainty “you saw it here last!”

Anyway, it’s a pretty fun video and catchy tune even if you don’t like Weezer. And I can appreciate the sentiment:

A better morning

Than yesterday at least. I don’t think I engaged in any inappropriate behaviors last night, so that’s a plus. In fact, I ran into the guy I went off on Friday night and apoligized profusely. We had a little chat about the circumstances leading up to my explosion and I understood where he was coming from. So, I was glad that he accepted my apology and I think we will put it behind us and move on without further incident. You can’t ever make it totally right, but I know we both felt better for having cleared the air.

We had a couple of nice dart tourneys at the Blue Frog last night. In the doubles I drew a somewhat inexperienced Korean, but he threw decent if inconsistent darts. We managed to beat Craig and Grant in the first round, but it was downhill from there I’m afraid. It was actually all on me, because my partner played better while my darts went to shit. We were the only team to beat Craig and Grant as they came back through the loser’s bracket to take first place. I was pleasantly surprised when we were awarded the 3rd place payout for our efforts (all of W10,000).

Next came the singles tournament, a format I prefer in some ways because it is all on you. No letting down a partner (or blaming them) if you fail. On the other hand, you have to beat players who are statistically better than you head-to-head, but I tend to like that challenge.

I got by Grant and Won Jun in the first two rounds of the winner’s bracket, setting up a confrontation with “The Angry Scot” Alistair. Regular readers know that Alistair is one of the top players in Itaewon and was certainly the highest ranked player in the tourney. He had played two tough matches against “The Goat” and Colin. Because we had been reduced to two boards, we had to wait quite some time before we actually stepped up to the Oche. As Alistair said after my 2-0 win, “you didn’t have your best darts, but they were good enough”. I felt pretty good, because it was the first time I remember beating him one-on-one in a money tourney. And it put me in the Championship round. Where Alistair promised we would meet again.

We did. By now it was after midnight and we had been playing and drinking since 7:00. So, rather than a test of dart skills it was more of who can throw best while intoxicated. The first leg was cricket and it was one of the strangest games I can recall. Alistair is notorious for his unorthodox cricket strategy, and this game was no different. I scored zero marks with first six darts, while he closed bulls and marked a couple of other numbers. For whatever reason, Alistair closed out the bottom half of the board (17/16/15) before I had any number closed. I figured the game was over at this point, but I kept working to close what I could and avoid being totally embarassed. Once I had closed 20s, we got into a points battle, with Alistair pounding 17s, and me answering with triple 20s. In between I kept working to close numbers and Alistair struggled on the top half of the board. When I finally hit my last bullseye for the win I was the most surprised person in the room.

Next was ’01, a game Alistair excels at. I hung with him to the end, where I was waiting to shoot for the 32 out. I’m still waiting, because Alistair hit the 40 for the win. Which took us to the deciding 3rd leg. I diddled a double bull and chose cricket. I played a solid game and Alistair struggled just enough for me to seal the victory. And take home W50,000. Well, I didn’t actually wind up taking it home, having got sucked into a card game I think is called Hula with a bargirl for drinks. Shoulda stuck with darts I guess. But it was fun regardless.

Wound up going to bed around 3:30 and was awakened at 6:30 by some kids playing in the yard of the downstairs apartment. What the hell they were doing up that early on Sunday is beyond me. I finally had to move into my guest bedroom for some quiet and much needed sleep. Woke up again at 10:30 feeling somewhat refreshed and made myself a classic American breakfast of bacon, eggs, toast, OJ and coffee. Not bad if I do say so myself.

I got an email indicating that folks at home may be worried about my state of mind these days. I guess yesterday’s post was a little disconcerting. Yes, I am going through a bit of a rough patch recently, but I am really ok. Some stressors at work and personally have occupied my mind of late, but I know that “this too shall pass”. And yeah, I have got to find a better way to relieve that stress than drinking. And I will.

No worries.