Hard to believe but I’ve actually been writing on this silly blog for three years now. But you can look it up–December 12, 2004 and 49,098 visitors later (which I calculate as maybe 30 or so masochists who keep coming back for more) I’m still plugging away, more or less.

So, for anyone who might care, here is the first post at Long Time Gone (back in my short-lived blogspot days). It’s actually a little embarrassing to read now because I was both full of myself and naive back then. But perhaps those attributes would fairly describe me today as well. Maybe the difference is now I don’t care! Or maybe I’m in denial. The only certainty is that it doesn’t matter. Life is what it is and it goes on until it doesn’t.

During these past three years my daughter gave birth to my first grandchild, my son got married to a lovely lady, Hillary made it home safe and sound from both tours in Afghanistan, Nolan got lost but is going to find his way eventually, and I became a stranger to friends and family.

I left looking for adventure and I guess comparatively speaking my life here has been that. It has cost me a lot more than I anticipated, but I think I have gained some understanding about myself along the way as well. Was it worth it? Would I do it again? I don’t know. And since you don’t get Mulligans in life the questions are meaningless.

I do like my life here very much. I’m not ready to go back to the USA now and I don’t know when or if I ever will. Lately I can’t seem to shake the feeling that I am not destined for a long life, and I just can’t see myself getting wrapped up in the rat race and drama that comes with living in America. But as Stephen Stills put it: “It’s no matter. No distance. It’s the ride”.

I have friends who have come and gone, and some that remain. I have my darts. My blog buddies (you know who you are). And a freakin’ ten minute commute to work.

Loneliness and feelings of loss and estrangement, sometimes I have that too. But I’m learning to embrace it all and call life good. And that is progress.

Folks, stick around. I can guarantee crap as bad as this post on semi-regular basis. What the hell, you’ve dealt with it for three years now. Whaddya got to lose?