It’s obvious you are an ordinary decent man, however, without moral constraints compelled by any god-ideal that I can detect. Maybe this explains your rude blustery cyber-demeanor. The point I am driving at: an inner morality driven by a God-ideal truly believed in — must be achieved in a society at a critical threshold — in order for a democracy to function without oppressive police measures. Muslim culture is not driven by an inner restraint — only an outer restraint of religious edicts — and thus demands autocratic and dictatorial forms of government. The Muslim inner-character, I suspect, is similar to your own psychic make-up. Take a look at what constrains you inwardly to act moral. What is it? Fear of outer consequences, and public opinion, or an inward obligation to a God-ideal?

Think about it.

The subtle undertones of effete morality is a reasonable conjecture to me from our discussions, your revealed interests, and your sparsely disclosed worldview.

If you say, however, I am way off-base — then I accept that. My opinion is not infallible. Your wife has curiously egg-ed me on in this conversation, but — if I am asked to leave… then I do so.

Enjoy Korea.

You don’t know of what you speak and you most certainly do not have a clue about God’s plan or anything else of substance or relevance. You are a pathetic loser. Don’t mistake my pity for you and your apparently empty life for caring a bit about what you say, think, or do.

I would call you a worthless piece of dung, but that would be unfair to dung in general. Don’t be the first to be banned from LTG, just move on and take your delusions of intelligence with you.

Carol, DO NOT feed this troll. His babble should not be dignified with a response.

A healthy libido intensifies when it is laser- concentrated onto “one” love object. The more INTENSITY of desire from John onto “one” god-ordained love object(you) — the better. Alot of John’s libido, however, appears to have been dissipated by his lack of discriminating and unrestrained sexual imagination. Thus, explaining — the assumed — less than stellar love life between you two… including his less than stellar mind. Not age, nor boredom from over familiarity is the cause. The culprit I suspect is his diffused sexuality chasing every sexual thought that runs through his deistic Neo-Con head. The problem is — he’s a man who doesn’t submit his desires to moral restraints, nor recognize moral boundaries for these desires. He merely plays the outward rules that keep him in the good opinion of others, and doesn’t jeopardize his job status. Thus, John may not go Broke-Back on us yet, but his graspy inner-nature is identical to a homosexual on the make… even if it remains sublimated by playing darts with his platonic catamite.

If you would not change this in John, then you are colluding with his sinfulness: your condoning of John’s “gay nature” is the reason why I suspect you are the conniver in the whole family dysfunction. Why are you conniving? Why this secret understanding between you and John about his sinfulness? Are you too … enjoying a life unsubmitted to the Creator? Are you a sinister insurgent against God’s government?

Carol, something is wrong with your thinking … if John taught his kids to bluster without backing it up with any substance, and conveniently denounce any dissent to his preferred worldview as simple Islamo-fascism … and then inculcate in these young victims the notion such banality is “interesting” — then I am afraid, he has warped your children, and maybe “touched” your own take on reality. They call it brain-washing. Would it be too much to say he is the Saddam Hussein of your family?

John, appears to be a combination of Oz characters: he certainly is a cowardly lion, blustering with no substance behind his bluff. Yes, I can also agree with you — the coward behind this gruffy demeanor can also be an effeminate Dorothy. Maybe we should see him as a hybrid of Dorothy and the cowardly lion … a boorish goof just wanting to be happy, and pining over his elusive bliss — by looking somewhere over the rainbow. His romantic strivings, however, ain’t going to find it in Itaewon … that’s for sure.

If, John has truly warped your perception on life, then he is — the Wizard of Carol.

Now, Carol … I would have taken you to be a hybrid of Glenda — the “allegedly” good witch, and Dorothy. A mother/daughter self-identity… who has been victimized by other witches, and a monkey-brained husband.

Why, pray tell me … are you the cowardly lion?

Also John didn’t go through the motions of the whole raising kids aspect of our marriage. So you are only partially right there too. He was not interested in any of them until they hit their teens and became interesting people. He didn’t even pretend to be interested unless they did or said something actually interesting. The day-to-day parenting he had no interest in and he made no bones about it. He is a very large man with a very deep voice and he looks intimidating even when he isn’t frowning. Some of the kid’s friends were very intimadated by him. He taught the kids to be interesting, he taught them not to be easily intimidated. The kids love and admire him because he is what they aspire to be.

You’re wrong about the Oz character that typifies John by the way. I’m the lion. John is Dorothy. You figure it out.

Dick-dominated. I understand the meaning, and am glad to hear you consider yourself susceptible to male domination and its influence. It’s a very healthy thing in a wife. I think you are telling me you are NOT a self-absorbed narcissistic queen controlling her irresponsible man-child. Your candor indicates this.

The concern is your union with a man whose inner self-governance is unrestrained by fear of any god-ideal. Such a man will perform a good outer show of conventional morality … in order to enjoy the good opinion of others, and maintain his job status … but deep down … he is inclined to follow his illicit pleasures. If, no-body is looking — his dark pleasures. Why not, he is fifty-one years old, it’s now or never… and God simply isn’t in the calculation to hold him back.

Among all the Wizard of Oz characters we can liken your husband to, it would be the gruffy lion. He is full of bluster with little substance: we have established this awareness through prior dialogue revealing his character structure. It’s obvious his relationship with his father was problematic. He rankles inwardly at anything that would oppress him with pesky morality — thus, he takes on a deist approach to his relationship with God… colored by a blustery Neo-Con facade. He is a conventional man, with conventional desires — unrestrained by the fear of God.

I believe John when he says he hasn’t “swung” to the gay lifestyle … his conventional up-bringing and fear of other’s opinion adequately contains him. What my Gay-dar has picked up, however, is an inner gayness that radiates throughout his every pore. The essence of gayness is a life philosophy: the contractual exchange of one pleasure unit, for an equal amount of pleasure: in other words, an inner avoidance of the sacrifice in a relationship. The homosexual orientation seeks pleasure in a contractual manner with others — pleasure exchanged for equal amounts of pleasure with no strings attached. Even practicing hetero-sexuals have this gay orientation; they don’t necessarily go broke-back Mountain, but seek opposite-gendered partners who will give equal measures of what they get. This, orientation, however, is NOT the sacred hetero-sexual love of your Bible. True hetero-sexuality requires sacrifice. In hetero-sexual love, a man obtains a small amount of sexual pleasure in exchange for a lifetime of sacrificial anxiety-inducing responsibility of raising kids, and loving only ONE sexual partner in life. It’s not a fair deal — it’s sacrifice. Gay love, however, eschews the sacrificial element in love.

Your husband went through the motions in his life with you raising children, but his heart did not embrace it. But, now he is free searching for and experimenting with his pleasure. You can’t stop him, nor can God… I think, John may not be able to even stop himself.

This has been the deep-down sorrow you feel in your relationship with this blustery lion … a lack of godly love from him — to you. Yes, I understand you when you say that you have no control nor influence over his life … that’s because nobody does … not even the Creator, nor the Godly love the Creator demands of John toward his wife. John, probably redefines his license to seek self-pleasure, as “American Freedom” in which our soldiers are dying for in Iraq. This is an example of how the Freedom and Democracy Cult redefines license, and calls it virtue. Very convenient for feral people like your husband.

Yes, I know …there has been an inner grief, a longing for godly love from John. Instead John only offers you “gay love” … the hedonistic affection of an ungodly man glued to you by a past history. He is like a wild dog who shows affection because someone gave him food and comfort … but, does he have inner loyalty, or God-inspired devotion to you?

NO, don’t fool yourself by John’s outward compliance to conventional morality … his inner condition is as gay as they get. Pray he doesn’t cross the line and go broke-back … or come back to you declaring he is a woman trapped in a man’s body.

John, the only way you can truly love your wife … is to make amends with God. That involves sacrifice.